TOW #28: The Invisible War Documentary

           The Invisible War is a documentary written and produced by Kirby Dick, and advocator by women and men’s rights who have been raped in the military, that goes behind the scenes of the military to uncover one of its most shameful and most heavily guarded secrets: rape within the United States Military. Although a women may dream of respect, protection, and honor as they join the military, the reality is a wall against justice for many of these women who are raped by other officers. Though many women have tried to get help in this system, they are consistently ignored. Most recently, a lawsuit has been denied with the court ruling that rape is an occupational hazard of military service.  Dick makes a groundbreaking attempt to unveil the truth behind the justice system within the military and the horrors many women face as far as rape and its consequences. With the use of interviews from both sides of the issue and personal stories, The Invisible War attempts to force lawmakers, military officials, and the common civilian to acknowledge the issue and by so doing stimulate change.

By using interviews from both sides of the issue, Dick is able to show that both sides were taken into account and allow the audience to make their own decision as to what is right and wrong. For example, the documentary pictures a military representative talking about what they do to combat rape in the military. They then show to opposing argument from an interview with another expert who claims that these methods are ineffective and simply exist for show. By providing both sides, the documentary is made to seem more objective and allow the audience to interpret the issue as they chose and see a logical side to it. As the documentary allows these choices and personal opinions to be fairly made, the audience, especially army and government officials, become more wholly informed, opinionated, and more likely to spread their own argument.

By adding a series of personal stories, the documentary is able to add a sense of emotion to the issue and make it more connectable for the audience. Showing raw emotion out of real victims is able to make the issue seem more real, dire, and in need of addressing. By revealing the real struggles of many types of victims from various army units to the audience, the vast nature of the problem is also better communicated. By making the public see this issue as more emotional and connecting them to it, the documentary makes a solid attempt to motivate them to stimulate change.

TOW #27- Reflection

As I look back at my TOWs from each marking period, I notice a trend of progress in each one. My TOWS began with awkward phrasing, summery rather then analysis, lack of organization and thesis, and awkward conclusion. During the second marking period, I continued to lack a clear thesis, however my analysis and word choice had improved. The third marking period consisted of a more complete TOW, a much-improved analysis, and a clear thesis. However, there is minimal effort to tie my arguments back to my thesis. Finally, in the fourth marking period, I had written a solid introduction with a clear thesis, improved connections to my thesis, and had much better word choice, though improvement is still needed.  Overall, my theses became much more clear, and my analysis much more complete and evident each marking period.

            Mastering any aspect of writing TOWs is something I do not believe I have accomplished. While my writing as a whole has become much more clear, clarity is still something I must continue to work on. Although my theses have become drastically better, sometimes my ideas can still seem convoluted.  The one thing that I believe I have become as close to mastering as possible is analyzing rather then just simply summarizing. When I began writing TOWs, I tended to summarize rather then analyze, where as now analysis is something that comes almost second nature.

            While writing TOWs tended to be a tedious task that I had little desire to accomplish, I believe that writing them has benefitted me overall. Although most of the things that made my essays better came from class, writing TOWs gave me exposure to different types of writing and allowed me to practice the skills I acquired in class. It was due to this practice that I was able to successfully improve my writing as a whole, and ultimately feel comfortable as a completed my AP exam.

TOW #26- How to Tell People No by Tom Chiarella

Goals:

Use a longer essay

Write a well-written essay with well-explained examples in a short time

Once sentence conclusion

            In most schools, the phrase “just say no” tends be uttered so repetitively that it remains in the children’s minds. People say no on a daily basis, without giving it much thought. However, in his essay How To Tell People No, Tom Chiarella, the fiction editor at Esquire Magazine, contemplates the art of using the word “no”. Using anecdotes and bolded words, Chiarella is able to address how to effectively say the word “no” in a personal and connectable manner.

            By using personal anecdotes, Chiarella is able to eloquently prove his point while also making the essay more personal. For example, Chiarella talks about an instance in which his child asked him to drink, and rather then elaborating, he simply said no. By using a personal experience and following it with an explanation as to why a simple “no” was more effective then a complex elaboration, Chiarella gets his point across in a personal way that can connect to his mature audience. By repeating this approach for each example, Chiarella can get each of his points across in such a way that his audience can understand his point while connecting to the personal aspect of it.

            With the use of bolded words, Chiarella is able to organize his argument in as easily visible manner. Chiarella implements the bolding of words to introduce each new point or example. This makes his argument easy to follow while also drawing the attention of his audience. For example, he starts one of his sections with, “Yes suggests pleasure.” This immediately alerts his audience to a transition, thus helping the reader follow along, while also introducing a new point in such a way so that it visibly stands out to the audience. By organizing his essay in such a way, the audience can easily follow what the argument is and when that argument is altered or transitions to another, thus helping him prove each point in a way that makes sense.

            With the implementation of anecdotes and bolded words, Chiarella is able to successfully create an organized argument that addresses how to effectively say the word “no” in such a way that the audience can make a personal connection to it.