TOW #30: Letter to a Future APELC Student

Dear future APELC students,

            When I first walked into AP English last year, Mr. Yost told us that our grades wouldn’t be as high as I expected them to be. He told us that some A students will get B’s, and some B students will get C’s. I must be honest with you when I say that he didn’t lie. Even though I ended the year with a B, I can tell you that this class was worth it. Some people may tell you not to take APELC because it is hard, and trying hard doesn’t always get you the A you want on your transcript. However, I can tell you that working hard at your writing every day and through every TOW, will increase your grades and help you write better in future classes.

            Of course there were times during this course when I was discouraged. When I came in, I could barely tell you what rhetoric or rhetorical analysis was. There were times when I had to write about things that I knew nothing about. However, if you put in the effort and work your way through, you will be able to turn in a well-written finished product in the end.

            When Mr. Yost tells you to take your TOWs seriously, you should keep that in mind and heed his advice. If you don’t know what a TOW is at the moment, you are most likely about to find out. Many of you will start slacking off on your TOWs after the first few, sometimes off of the advice of past students. Some will say that they had no point, and aren’t worth anyone’s time. You will find, however, that these TOWs exist in order to provide vital practice of things learned in the class. When it comes time to take the AP exam, you will be very glad that you took the time to obtain such practice and experience.

            Don’t be afraid of Mr. Yost. If you need help as far as how to write something, finding an idea, or picking out an IRB, Mr. Yost is someone you should go see. Although some may have told you that he is scary, he is not as scary as you think. Talking to him about your papers can only improve your grades, as he is the one who grades them. However, it is also important to remember that it isn’t always about the immediate result. You may get something back that you wrote and not be particularly pleased with the grade that you received. However, if you talk to Mr. Yost and see what you did wrong, you can fix things in your paper and increase your grade for the next paper. Doing badly on one assignment is truly not the end of the world. Everyone receives multiple opportunities throughout each marking period to raise their grade.

            Even though grades are everything, they also aren’t. Yes they may help you get into the school that you wish to go to, but a B in a class where you learned something looks a lot better then an A in a class in which you learned nothing. Many of you are most likely taking more then one AP course, and if that is the case, you are going to have some work to do this year. Junior year is not as bad as some of your friends may have told you. If you take it one day at a time, and actually try to get some sleep, it can be just like any other year.

TOW #29- The Invisible War Argument

In the Armed Forces, the issue of rape has been overlooked and covered up for a significant amount of time. Rape should not be an occupational hazard of serving in what is supposed to be an honorable institution, but a crime that deserves ample punishment. The Army should have a justice system equivalent to that of other citizens due to their constitutional rights and the fact that the system under which justice is served now is failing.

The Army needs to have an equivalent justice system to the one provided for normal citizens because the lack of this is infringing on the constitutional rights of army members. All citizens have the right to due process, a fair trial by jury, and rights against self-incrimination. Although these rights are meant for defendants, they are also rights of victims.  In the current justice system of an army, the leading officer has the power to decide whether or not a claim by another official gets investigated. Allowing them this gives them the right to deny and cover up things that happens within the army, thus illegally denying lower ranking army officers their rights.. By allowing this system to go on, the army goes against the very principles of the country that it dedicates itself to defending.

The current system by which the army currently serves justice upon is failing, thus justifying a new system equivalent to that of the common citizen. The current system is structured so that a commanding officer gets to decide whether a not a fellow officer’s claim is taken seriously and investigated, with no regard to who committed the crime, even if the accused is the commanding officer themself. Officers must always report first to their commander, leaving a lot of room for corruption and failure. I have read that one out of twenty-five people are statistically sociopaths. This means that these people have no morals and therefore don’t feel guilt after doing something wrong. Now most men in the military are considered to be “Alfa-males” or men who like to be in control. Put these two traits together, and you have 1 out of every 25 commanding officers who could commit a crime and feel absolutely no guilt covering it up. While not every one of these people will commit a crime, there is a considerable risk that the current justice system is not equipped to handle. For example, how is it possible that 1 in 5 women receives help for an assault related injury, but only 1/10 cases receives an investigation that results in punishment (takepart.com). A justice system in which one person is equipped to cover up countless crimes is not one that can be acceptable, especially in such a powerful institution.

A justice system cannot successfully exist when it allows people the power to deliberately cover up crimes of all sorts. The justice system in the army must be swapped for one equivalent to that of normal civilians due to the fact that the current system infringes upon officer’s constitutional rights and the fact that it is failing to deliver justice.

TOW #28: The Invisible War Documentary

           The Invisible War is a documentary written and produced by Kirby Dick, and advocator by women and men’s rights who have been raped in the military, that goes behind the scenes of the military to uncover one of its most shameful and most heavily guarded secrets: rape within the United States Military. Although a women may dream of respect, protection, and honor as they join the military, the reality is a wall against justice for many of these women who are raped by other officers. Though many women have tried to get help in this system, they are consistently ignored. Most recently, a lawsuit has been denied with the court ruling that rape is an occupational hazard of military service.  Dick makes a groundbreaking attempt to unveil the truth behind the justice system within the military and the horrors many women face as far as rape and its consequences. With the use of interviews from both sides of the issue and personal stories, The Invisible War attempts to force lawmakers, military officials, and the common civilian to acknowledge the issue and by so doing stimulate change.

By using interviews from both sides of the issue, Dick is able to show that both sides were taken into account and allow the audience to make their own decision as to what is right and wrong. For example, the documentary pictures a military representative talking about what they do to combat rape in the military. They then show to opposing argument from an interview with another expert who claims that these methods are ineffective and simply exist for show. By providing both sides, the documentary is made to seem more objective and allow the audience to interpret the issue as they chose and see a logical side to it. As the documentary allows these choices and personal opinions to be fairly made, the audience, especially army and government officials, become more wholly informed, opinionated, and more likely to spread their own argument.

By adding a series of personal stories, the documentary is able to add a sense of emotion to the issue and make it more connectable for the audience. Showing raw emotion out of real victims is able to make the issue seem more real, dire, and in need of addressing. By revealing the real struggles of many types of victims from various army units to the audience, the vast nature of the problem is also better communicated. By making the public see this issue as more emotional and connecting them to it, the documentary makes a solid attempt to motivate them to stimulate change.

TOW #27- Reflection

As I look back at my TOWs from each marking period, I notice a trend of progress in each one. My TOWS began with awkward phrasing, summery rather then analysis, lack of organization and thesis, and awkward conclusion. During the second marking period, I continued to lack a clear thesis, however my analysis and word choice had improved. The third marking period consisted of a more complete TOW, a much-improved analysis, and a clear thesis. However, there is minimal effort to tie my arguments back to my thesis. Finally, in the fourth marking period, I had written a solid introduction with a clear thesis, improved connections to my thesis, and had much better word choice, though improvement is still needed.  Overall, my theses became much more clear, and my analysis much more complete and evident each marking period.

            Mastering any aspect of writing TOWs is something I do not believe I have accomplished. While my writing as a whole has become much more clear, clarity is still something I must continue to work on. Although my theses have become drastically better, sometimes my ideas can still seem convoluted.  The one thing that I believe I have become as close to mastering as possible is analyzing rather then just simply summarizing. When I began writing TOWs, I tended to summarize rather then analyze, where as now analysis is something that comes almost second nature.

            While writing TOWs tended to be a tedious task that I had little desire to accomplish, I believe that writing them has benefitted me overall. Although most of the things that made my essays better came from class, writing TOWs gave me exposure to different types of writing and allowed me to practice the skills I acquired in class. It was due to this practice that I was able to successfully improve my writing as a whole, and ultimately feel comfortable as a completed my AP exam.

TOW #26- How to Tell People No by Tom Chiarella

Goals:

Use a longer essay

Write a well-written essay with well-explained examples in a short time

Once sentence conclusion

            In most schools, the phrase “just say no” tends be uttered so repetitively that it remains in the children’s minds. People say no on a daily basis, without giving it much thought. However, in his essay How To Tell People No, Tom Chiarella, the fiction editor at Esquire Magazine, contemplates the art of using the word “no”. Using anecdotes and bolded words, Chiarella is able to address how to effectively say the word “no” in a personal and connectable manner.

            By using personal anecdotes, Chiarella is able to eloquently prove his point while also making the essay more personal. For example, Chiarella talks about an instance in which his child asked him to drink, and rather then elaborating, he simply said no. By using a personal experience and following it with an explanation as to why a simple “no” was more effective then a complex elaboration, Chiarella gets his point across in a personal way that can connect to his mature audience. By repeating this approach for each example, Chiarella can get each of his points across in such a way that his audience can understand his point while connecting to the personal aspect of it.

            With the use of bolded words, Chiarella is able to organize his argument in as easily visible manner. Chiarella implements the bolding of words to introduce each new point or example. This makes his argument easy to follow while also drawing the attention of his audience. For example, he starts one of his sections with, “Yes suggests pleasure.” This immediately alerts his audience to a transition, thus helping the reader follow along, while also introducing a new point in such a way so that it visibly stands out to the audience. By organizing his essay in such a way, the audience can easily follow what the argument is and when that argument is altered or transitions to another, thus helping him prove each point in a way that makes sense.

            With the implementation of anecdotes and bolded words, Chiarella is able to successfully create an organized argument that addresses how to effectively say the word “no” in such a way that the audience can make a personal connection to it.